Tub on the Run

My line in the sand

7 Comments

This week is flying by!  I had a reasonable weigh in – it was a line in the sand for me.  I weighed in at 16st 3lbs.  It was a 3lb gain.

Today, I weigh exactly the same as I did in the summer of 2008.  A real turning point for me was my little sister’s 21st birthday party.

tubontherun.wordpress.com 2008 16.3

I don’t remember now what exactly made me feel that I had to change, but there had been a few photos that I really began to notice how much weight I’d piled on.  The top that I was wearing in the picture didn’t fit nicely when it once had, but I couldn’t face going to buy a new top.  I probably knew I wouldn’t be able to find many nice clothes in a size it fit me.

It was at a time when I wasn’t too happy either.  I’d split up from my first proper boyfriend the year before, and had piled the weight on throughout 2007 – comfort food fed the emotion and did its best to mask how empty, worthless and lonely I felt.  I was living up north, with hardly any friends (most of my uni friends moved back home or went travelling), and I had cripplingly poor, exceptionally low self esteem.  I did have a job I loved though.  So, in June 2008, I vowed to make a concerted effort to blitz the blub.

The thought of going to a weight loss group did not inspire me (though ironically, it probably would have done me the world of good).  Instead, I researched Tesco Diets – their GI plan specifically.  I loved it – the food was great, I felt like I was always eating, I didn’t have the spikes and troughs in my energy levels, and my mood improved a lot.  The pounds also started to melt away.  To start off with, it was really easy.  I lived on my own, Tesco Diets provided a shopping list, I had no social life so I could spend my evenings cooking a huge variety of food.  When the company I worked for sadly went into administration, my job sank with it and I made the move back to my home – Devon.  Back in with my parents I moved, and within the month I had a new job to go to.  I got more active and started horse riding again.  I kept up with the diet and hit Christmas 2008 at 13 stone dead.  I’d lost 3 stone 3lbs.  I really began to feel attractive again.

Bruges 13 stone

I hated my job, but everything else was going really well.  I was enjoying being back home – somewhere where I was loved.  However, over the next 4 years, I added over a stone on to each year.  In those years, M and I got together (and I was welcomed into an additional family of perpetual fat fighters), I changed my role, I hit rock bottom in my job and mental state, I moved out of my parent’s house into our first flat (which was, and still is horrid), I lost my confidence with horse riding following a couple of bad incidents, and all manner of other things changed and I reverted back to being a binging comfort eater.

Two weeks before M proposed in March last year, I joined Slimming World.  I joined at 19st 1.5lbs.  My size 22 trousers were getting too tight, and I didn’t feel right in my own skin.  I felt and looked hideous, and my weight had started to affect all that I tried to do.  When my weight blinked on the screen,  I could have fallen off the scales (but for the fear of damaging myself and/or someone or something else).  My journey with Slimming World started off ok.  Then spent the next 9 months bimbling around and not really losing the weight.  I started 2013 on a high, with 10 consecutive weeks of losses.  Then I started bimbling again.

This is my line in the sand.  I can do the next three stone.  I did it before, and I can do it again.

From fatter to thinner

I’m in a much better place than I was then, so… Where did I put my running plan and food diary?!

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Author: Steph

Blogger learning to live a healthier life, losing weight and starting to run.

7 thoughts on “My line in the sand

  1. Great spirit. And very honest (well… it sounds honest… I don’t actually know…)
    It’s hard to spend a long time just getting back to where you have been before.
    But…I heard a good comparison with Sat-Navs which seems to fit here… If you’ve gone off route, your sat-nav just tells you how to get to where you are going… it does not just say, “well you’re stuffed now!” Enjoy the journey.

  2. You’ve got this girl! What a journey for you, just keep at it…you’ve done it before, you can definitely do it again!!

  3. Kelly, in terms of ‘getting it out’ … a word of warning… Not everyone is as liberal a you and not all courts of law see it as a positive thing, apparently.

  4. Pingback: My inspiration – 08 | fatness to fitness, our journey

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