This week is flying by! I had a reasonable weigh in – it was a line in the sand for me. I weighed in at 16st 3lbs. It was a 3lb gain.
Today, I weigh exactly the same as I did in the summer of 2008. A real turning point for me was my little sister’s 21st birthday party.
I don’t remember now what exactly made me feel that I had to change, but there had been a few photos that I really began to notice how much weight I’d piled on. The top that I was wearing in the picture didn’t fit nicely when it once had, but I couldn’t face going to buy a new top. I probably knew I wouldn’t be able to find many nice clothes in a size it fit me.
It was at a time when I wasn’t too happy either. I’d split up from my first proper boyfriend the year before, and had piled the weight on throughout 2007 – comfort food fed the emotion and did its best to mask how empty, worthless and lonely I felt. I was living up north, with hardly any friends (most of my uni friends moved back home or went travelling), and I had cripplingly poor, exceptionally low self esteem. I did have a job I loved though. So, in June 2008, I vowed to make a concerted effort to blitz the blub.
The thought of going to a weight loss group did not inspire me (though ironically, it probably would have done me the world of good). Instead, I researched Tesco Diets – their GI plan specifically. I loved it – the food was great, I felt like I was always eating, I didn’t have the spikes and troughs in my energy levels, and my mood improved a lot. The pounds also started to melt away. To start off with, it was really easy. I lived on my own, Tesco Diets provided a shopping list, I had no social life so I could spend my evenings cooking a huge variety of food. When the company I worked for sadly went into administration, my job sank with it and I made the move back to my home – Devon. Back in with my parents I moved, and within the month I had a new job to go to. I got more active and started horse riding again. I kept up with the diet and hit Christmas 2008 at 13 stone dead. I’d lost 3 stone 3lbs. I really began to feel attractive again.
I hated my job, but everything else was going really well. I was enjoying being back home – somewhere where I was loved. However, over the next 4 years, I added over a stone on to each year. In those years, M and I got together (and I was welcomed into an additional family of perpetual fat fighters), I changed my role, I hit rock bottom in my job and mental state, I moved out of my parent’s house into our first flat (which was, and still is horrid), I lost my confidence with horse riding following a couple of bad incidents, and all manner of other things changed and I reverted back to being a binging comfort eater.
Two weeks before M proposed in March last year, I joined Slimming World. I joined at 19st 1.5lbs. My size 22 trousers were getting too tight, and I didn’t feel right in my own skin. I felt and looked hideous, and my weight had started to affect all that I tried to do. When my weight blinked on the screen, I could have fallen off the scales (but for the fear of damaging myself and/or someone or something else). My journey with Slimming World started off ok. Then spent the next 9 months bimbling around and not really losing the weight. I started 2013 on a high, with 10 consecutive weeks of losses. Then I started bimbling again.
This is my line in the sand. I can do the next three stone. I did it before, and I can do it again.
I’m in a much better place than I was then, so… Where did I put my running plan and food diary?!