In the middle of my funk last night, I posted to Twitter that I am struggling.
I can feel self-sabotage brewing. I have never run as much as I am now, and while I really do feel like I am beginning to make some progress (my heart rate average is lowering, though my average pace is staying relatively stable), I am beginning to wonder whether I can really do 13.1 miles. Thirteen point one miles is a very long distance for me (and for most people I would imagine). I don’t want to fail, but I almost feel that it is inevitable. I’ve tried getting into running so many times, and my consistency requires more work.
I genuinely hadn’t intended the tweet to be seeking pity or anything, but I was genuinely touched by the response I had. It was reassuring to know that most people will feel the same at one point or another.
So this morning, I scoffed some porridge, waited an hour, faffed around a bit, tried to find some clean workout clothes, eventually found them, stepped outside and faffed a bit more whilst waiting for my Garmin to sync.
A couple of minutes later, off I toddled. 6 miles on the plan, but I needed to do just over to get my 10k recorded for my Virtual Runner race. I chose to go from home to Darts Farm, which turns out to be around 6 miles. It was a mildly undulating route. Unfortunately I didn’t break my 10k record, but it was relatively close. I probably would have done it, but for getting stuck behind some walkers and their dogs.
One thing I am beginning to find is that my heart rate is coming down, but the perceived effort seems to be getting harder. I don’t know why that is, but I really flag in how I feel towards the end, though this isn’t entirely represented by my pace.
Anyway, I arrived at Darts Farm.
I took £2 with me so I could get a drink, which I desperately needed by then. Matt was meant to meet me there, but had got a bit sidetracked. I busied myself by shopping for my Foodie Penpal (new matches came through!). We also bought lunch to bring home. Matt picked me up and home we came. I plan to spend the rest of the afternoon doing laundry, catching up on the Janathon and Jantastic blogs, and pottering.
Janathon exercise, done. Jantastic Week 1, done. 10k for Virtual Runner, logged!