Tub on the Run


What a way to celebrate my 100th post…

I have debated whether to post this later on today or not, and I’ve decided to post now (surely my 100th post should be about nice things and fluffy bunnies and unicorns.  This is not one of those posts). 

Weigh in will go completely as I expect it to.  By that, I mean that I will have gained weight.  I can feel it without the scales telling me.  I sit here, getting increasingly frustrated at myself, feeling like a failure.  Hmm… failure’s probably not quite the right word.  Fraud is probably closer.  Here I am, on my weight loss and running blog, not really doing either.  What’s worse is that even I am beginning to notice that there is a yoyo tone to the blog, which is very much a reflection of how I feel, and I don’t like it. 

Why am I scratching my head?  Mainly because I seem to be embroiled in a battle between my good and bad weeks.  I have a great week, like last week.  I feel motivated, really focused, on plan, in control, and I just feel like I am winning at this weight loss thing.  Skip forwards a week, and my meals are completely out of whack, high calorie, high fat, high sugar snacks and meals.  My motivation has skipped off to a happy place elsewhere, and I am left here feeling empty and tired. 

Yet, ironically, I am far from empty.  I have overindulged, binged, feasted and stuffed myself.  I have stonking headaches (probably all sugar rush related), I am tired and sluggish and miserable.  Despite my best efforts to fill the void with food, it hasn’t worked.  Something else is missing, but I don’t know what.  I am bored of trying to work out what “it” is. I cannot put a finger on what happened.  On what went wrong.  Anything I come up with just feels like an excuse.

There is much moping to be done, a few frustrated tears to be shed, but something needs to change.  On reflection, I need to emulate some of the good habits I had formed when I was on my 10 week loss streak at the beginning of the year.  Between the throbs of my latest headache, I remember that some of the good habits that I’d held included:

  • Posting on my blog frequently.  I think I am currently averaging one to two posts a week.  During “the streak”, I was posting more like 4 times a week.  I think it helped to maintain my focus.
  • Food diaries.  These are always a bit hit and miss, but I was completing a diary more regularly then than I am now.  I find food diaries to be a bit of a chore sometimes, so I am thinking that perhaps the odd food diary on the blog isn’t too bad an idea – a bit of a thermometer reading of how I’m doing.
  • Running.  I was running, and I was following Couch to 5k.  I had a structure.  There were no real quibbles about what I was going to do or when I was going to go out, or even which route to run.  I was told that I had to go out (by the podcast), so out I went.  I missed the structure after C25K ended, and things all started going a bit, well, unstructured.  Tubs need a structure to work within.  Back to C25K I go (but I will keep parkrun in there).
  • Workouts.  I went to Zumba Tone.  I went spinning.  I enjoyed them both.  I am not doing either currently.  It’s time to stop wasting my gym membership and get my bum back to classes.  Three runs a week, plus one or two classes should keep my nose out of the biscuit tin.
  • Shopping.  We were so much better at shopping, making sure that we went on a certain day.  That day used to be Sunday.  We’re both so tired now, that weekends are for slobbing around.  The occasional slob-end is fine.  But this is every single weekend, and we’re in a rut.  Also, I dread to think of the amount we’ve spent on food lately – takeaways are not meant to be a lifestyle choice.

I am going to find the first couple of weeks frustrating.  I know that.  I know that this is going to be when I am more vulnerable to sliding off the wagon in a gelatinous blob, then there will be a period where it feels like second nature, and then there will be a period where it won’t take much for me to jump from the wagon voluntarily, just for “something different to do”.

 I have a few things coming up over the next few months – a weekend marshalling, my dress fitting, going to Cyprus, then two wedding celebrations one after the other, my hen weekend and a couple of weeks later, my wedding.  All are potential derailments, and things I wouldn’t have needed to consider during “the streak”.  They will be challenges, and I need to plan for them.  They’ll disrupt my exercise plans and my food, but they cannot throw me off kilter.


Whether to post…

I have been wondering whether to post.  I haven’t done much over the last couple of days, and that’s kind of the reason I don’t want to post.  But, life isn’t plain sailing, and ultimately I have started this blog for some public accountability.

A quick recap – last week was rubbish.  I had an awful week at work, felt tired, started getting a sore throat, had to change my new shoes, and didn’t manage to run.  At all.  The 5 minutes before my feet went numb on Tuesday don’t count.  I made it to kettlebells though, so I haven’t been a complete sloth.

Food wise.  Well, that’s been even worse.  Talk about going completely off the boil!  I hadn’t eaten well at work, we hadn’t eaten well at night.  I’m an emotional eater, and this week left me drained so I “comforted” myself with stupid foods.  Add into the mix a murder mystery evening with my mum and sister (involving a 3 course dinner – nice, but not exactly low in calories), and this truly has been an “off plan” kind of week.

I am annoyed at myself still, so I am going to be making a list of food for next week and sticking stadfastly to it.  My sister came over this morning and we got talking about budgets, including food budgets.  I don’t like to waste my food, but I have that realisation that actually, I have a reasonable amount of wasted food from last week.  I may as well have thrown the money straight into the bin.  Silly girl.

I’m planning on some tasty, easy meals (this week threatens to be shoddy too in the worklife stakes), including some camping friendly food for the weekend.  Shopping trip is planned for tomorrow.

We’re off camping this weekend coming, so I’ll need to get my brain in gear for what to take.  I cannot go through this month without breaking into the next stone barrier, and camping cannot hold me back.  On the thought of camping, I’m hoping that I may have made life easier on myself, as I bought a  power lead so we can have electricity in the tent – that means heating!  We’ll need it, as it is still very cold at night, and isn’t showing signs of getting warmer.

I’m off to one of my bridemaid’s houses now to talk wedding planning and drop her dress to her.


A gain has occurred

Weigh in tonight saw me gain by 1lb.  It’s broken my 10 week losing streak.

How do I feel about it?  Not too bad actually – surprisingly chilled out about it.  I am the first to admit that I haven’t been very good at the food thing this week – eating in excess (though not binging), eating the wrong things.  I’d also like to blame the arrival of lady week, but that would be a poor excuse.  It’s mostly down to the food.

Why have I struggled this week with the food?  I think it’s quite simply that I have taken a brief rest from the constant thought stream of food planning.  It takes quite a bit of effort to constantly remember your syn values (yeah, I know, I could write them down), and how much fruit and veg you’re getting, etc etc.  That sounds bad that I have taken “a rest” from dieting, but actually, I am trying to see it as a good thing.  There will be weeks where I won’t be able to stick steadfastly to a particular way of eating.  Importantly, I think I am seeing a change in my “natural” choices.  6 months ago, a blow out week would have seen me hit the scales with a 4lb+ gain.  One bad week in 10, with a 1lb gain – I can live with that!

I feel like I have got that week out of my system now, and I’m good to be back on track.  Even today has been good – porridge for breakfast, fruit, yogurts as my snacks, couscous and chicken with roast veg for lunch, then a veg packed chilli for tea.  Add in a curly wurly, and the world is happy again.

Here’s to my next 10 week losing streak!

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Two day exercise round up

I’ll start with today.  I am not long back from my Zumba Tone class.  Following the trauma of finding some abs muscles, care of the TBTs class, my friend and I ventured back to ZT.  All is forgiven.  I was actually looking forward to it, and put a lot of effort into my workout.  I know this because my back is a little sore, and my hair is all mingy (yes, I am so dedicated, I am blogging before showering).  The other thing I wanted to “fix” while I was there was to stretch out my hips.  They were really tight after yesterday.

It hasn’t been my best day for sticking to all things healthy eating (d’oh – it is weigh in day tomorrow Tub, what were you thinking!?).  It’s a colleague’s birthday, so I have had an egg custard tart and a doughnut.  Poop.  Though I am not sure why I am justifying the food to myself with”well it’s her birthday” – she wasn’t going to be offended if I abstained.  Never mind – it’s only one day, and you can’t spend live avoiding doughnuts.  The key is moderation (I know I will be annoyed if I put weight on tomorrow, so I will probably have to revisit this post to remind me it’s all MODERATION).  However, I have found a new drink love:

Mmm… Twinings Butter Mint Tea

It’s like drinking a Murray Mint.  I have a very soft spot for Murray Mints, they remind me of my Grandad.  An enduring childhood memory was my Grandad sharing his Wethers Originals or Murray Mints with us.  Fond memories of sunny holidays to our grandparents’ house.

About my run yesterday.  If you are eating, I suggest you come back later, or if you are easily upset, give up now.

It went really well.  I felt absolutely knackered at the end, but I’m really pleased, as I managed to shave a whole minute off my average pace.  I suspect I may have overdone it.  Because then came…

I didn’t know it could come out like that, and I genuinely dread to think what I looked like in the last few metres before I got to my front door.  And good Lord I thought the bottom was falling out of my world.  Now, there’s a good chance that the increase in speed alone wasn’t the sole cause.  I had some beans for tea, in a rice salad.  I think it may have been far too much fibre prior to the run.  So, learning points – stay away from  beans (I have had a similar experience, but many years back), and eat a long time before I go out, not 45 minutes before.

Despite the horrendous experience, I was pleased with myself, and thoroughly enjoyed my Sunday night bath, and a chocolate chip Snack a Jack with some Whole Earth peanut butter spread on it.  Tasted naughty, but was 8 syns (allowed 15 a day) – a good post run snack I believe.

On that delightful note, I shall leave you now. Wish me luck (or light thoughts) for weigh in tomorrow!!


Tub’s First Post

Hi there!

Firstly, please bear with me – I am trying to get my head around all of this blogging stuff, and am working on my page currently.  Thanks!

Why am I blogging?  Accountability really.  I am already a member of Slimming World, and the weekly weigh ins make me accountable for my weight.  I am, in part, accountable for my exercise in so far as I go with a friend and have activity dates, but I want to start running again.  I also want to be successful at it.  I don’t want to start running with someone (maybe other than M) as it’ll only dishearten me (I can be intensely competitive and a sore loser).

How am I going to throw my weighty bulk into running?  Slowly!  And using Couch to 5k.  I’ll be starting in February.  (the first week of, not the end of).  A couple more good weight loss weeks and I’ll feel better about my poor old knees having to absorb the shock of weight bearing activity!

I need to break the food/reward cycle, so will be having a think about non-food rewards for my weight loss milestones and running treats.  All suggestions welcome!

Thanks for reading!