Tub on the Run


Sunday night and Blog Block

I have tried to write this post about six times now, and nothing is flowing.  M has diagnosed it as Blog Block.  Apologies, therefore, for the probable rambling, jumbled-upness of this post.  I shall, however, try to break it into some logical chunks (“try” being the operative word there).


I bunked off Slimming World again this week.  I know it’s been a bad food week when I don’t want to go to church Group and confess my sins syns, and believe me, there have been many.  How many?  I have no idea.  That’s another tell tale sign – I don’t count because I know it’s bad.  Well, my body is now beginning to demand a better quality fuel.  After weeks (months?) of feeding it rubbish, it’s now getting all grumbly and gripey and, to be honest, it isn’t much fun.  This is coming from the person who prides herself on owning a cast iron tummy, the girl who can eat out of date food, or that which has been undercooked, and not feel the effects while those around her are actively seeking out the nearest toilet.

Well, so long high fat/sugar food.  It’s been, ummm, unhealthy (both physically and mentally).

Normally, I blindly choose meals based on what we have left over in the veggies department from last week, paying no heed to what I’m actually doing in the week.  This week is different.  I know I am going to be late home a couple of nights.  I know this is a danger zone, where I will default to takeaway because “I haven’t got enough time/energy/other poor excuse to cook”.  The slow cooker is my greatest ally in this particular battle.  The other thing?  Oh, well, there isn’t enough leftovers to use for lunch tomorrow, so I’ll just buy from the canteen.  That is expensive.  It’s also quite unhealthy, as while I may have the intention of having a jacket spud with beans and salad, I may add a flapjack on to that, or change my mind entirely to a cheese and onion pasty.  To combat this, I first need to buy some new batteries for my scales – I can’t measure anything out at the moment (unless it is a liquid).  This means that then, I’ll be able to use my breadmaker that I got for Christmas, but haven’t actually used yet.  That means that sandwiches with cheese and tomato, or ham, or whatever, is now a default option where there may not be enough leftovers.

That’s my week planned for food.


I would like to say that Week 1 of my 10k plan got off to a cracking start, but it has been more like a crappy start.  The stupid thing is that I know that if I feel low, going out for a run will help.  I’ve literally just come back from a run and I feel like I’m about to die from exploding lungs better than before I went out.  The hardest part is actually getting out the door.  As I started writing this post at 8pm, I thought I really should go out for a run.  I haven’t been out and made one run this week.  How can I talk about running if I haven’t actually been running.  Sometimes, like this evening, I can just tell myself that I am going out, and there is no internal argument.  Other times, there’s an almighty furore in my brain that absolutely refuses to get changed and go out.

This evening’s run was 3 miles.  The longest run on Week 1’s plan.  I shall crack on with Week 2 on Tuesday, Thursday (or Friday) and Saturday (watch out parkrun – I may come out to play!).  I didn’t set any records unfortunately, but I am quite pleased with my 41:27 5k given that I haven’t run regularly for what feels like forever.

One thing I have learnt this evening is that it most definitely is not time to crack the base layer out.  I thought I might get chilly, what with it being autumn and all, but no, a t-shirt is more than sufficient still.  According to the Garmin, it was 14°c, so maybe I’ll reintroduce the base layer when we hit 10°c and see how I go then.

On that note, I’m off for a shower because I am sweaty and smelly.  All round delightful!



Getting back into it

As we drove home from work, I uttered the usual words… “I don’t want to go on my run tonight”.  The truth is, I rarely want to go on my runs when I’m about an hour or so away from lacing up and going out.  I am fine in the lead up to the run, but it is that pesky one hour before.  I have twigged that I tend to do this, so I had primed M to make sure he kicked my bum out the door.

By the time we actually got home, I wasn’t feeling too bad about it.  I’d mentally mapped out where my capri pants, t-shirt, sports bra, socks and Garmin were.  I’d also given some thought to where my Slimming World stuff was (it’s been a while since I needed it!).  When I got in, I changed, cleaned the cat litter out, packed my bag for Slimming World (card, book, water, money), and said good bye to Matt.

I had decided last week that my 2 mile run would always be on a Tuesday, and it would be my old stomping ground of a beach circuit.

Hal Higdon - 10k Novice plan

Hal Higdon – 10k Novice plan

I may tweak that run to include some beach running once I’ve got my groove properly back on.

I walked my warm up, breaking into a run as soon as my Garmin locked on to a satellite.  I had my music on, and quickly realised that my pace was quite a bit quicker than a lot of the songs I had on my playlist.  That was quite gratifying.  I lip synced my way through the first mile, trying hard to slow my pace down to the beat.  It helped me concentrate on something other than my increasingly burning lungs and leg muscles.  Just before the end of the first mile, I broke to a walk, and promised myself that I would only walk for that song.

I did exactly that.  My second mile was slower, but I ran it to the end, which I was really pleased about.  I know it’s October and all, but I was surprised how dark it is getting in the evenings (I don’t think you notice it so much when you’re indoors), and I am grateful for the renewed peacefulness along the beach.  Don’t get me wrong, I know how important tourists are for our local economy, but boy am I glad when the summer is over and normality can reign supreme once again.

I picked up my Slimming World bag, and headed off to my group, where the verdict after 4 weeks’ absence was a 4lb gain.  I am pleased with that.  I have come away with a food diary to complete, confident that I am going to have a good 6 days on plan (1 day off for my hen party on Saturday).

After I came home and had eaten tea, I uploaded my run onto Garmin Connect, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that I actually ran my run today at my fastest average pace so far.  I’m not breaking records, but I’ve hit a 12:52 average pace, compared with the next quickest at 14:45.

I’ve now to got to map out my next run.  I’ve decided that I’ll stick to the roads for the 2 miler, then parkrun (or trails if I can’t get to parkrun) for the 3 milers (which will start being the longest runs, and then become the middle runs), and keep on the roads for the longer runs, as I will probably be doing these on a week night.  I think that’s a good plan.


A goal

When I started running this year, right at the fore of my mind was my three or four failed attempts at trying to get in to running.  In the past, I would start running, pick a race (typically a Race for Life or Exeter’s Santa Run), and pressure myself to get to a magical milestone in time for the race.  I never stuck with it.  I don’t know whether it was the pressure I put myself under, eventually giving in to crippling self-doubt, or whether I just didn’t suit the plan I was using.  I suspect it was a combination of both.  For a long time, before I’d heard of Couch to 5k, I used Running Made Easy‘s “60 Second Secret Plan”.


This is pretty much the same as C25K, but the big difference for me, and what I think I struggled with, was having to keep track of the time myself.  I would constantly be looking at my watch instead of focusing on running, willing the seconds to pass quicker.  C25K, of course, being a podcast, tells you when to start and stop so you don’t have to worry about the timing.  Yeah the music is a bit odd, but I’d rather that than have to work it out myself.

Armed with Couch to 5k, my kit and some enthusiasm, I headed out at the end of January.  I ignored the conventional wisdom pumped out by the running magazines – sign up for your first race so that you have a goal.  I didn’t want to.  I wanted my running to be more of a regular thing than I had managed in the past, and I thought that would be counter-productive.  I focused on being able to get to Week 9 of C25K.  I then started a 10k plan.  I fell off the wagon, attempted to climb back on, and then slipped off again.

A shift happened, and I started looking around for 10k races.  I feel that I am ready to take on that kind of challenge now.  I know I can do 5k (ok, not quickly, but I can), and I’ve really enjoyed my parkruns, but I want to look at the next stage.

Where am I now, in terms of my running and fitness?  I’m not in my best place.  I’m heavier than I’d like to be still, and I have struggled with Slimming World lately.  I’ve missed 2 weeks, and had booked holiday for one, so it’ll have been 4 weeks this week since I last showed my face.  I haven’t progressed with C25K after coming back from Cyprus.  I would roll out my list of excuses, but I need to be more proactive – running is good for my body and my mental state, and I am going to need to take better care of both, especially over the next few weeks.  Work is ramping up quickly, and I feel like time is quickly trickling away before the wedding now.  Running will help me deal with this.

With all of this in mind, I looked for winter 10ks.  I settled on Weston Athletics Club’s Christmas Cracker 10k.  I’d read good things about it on the Runners World event review (back in the day, when I was a subscriber), and it is conveniently in Weston-Super-Mare, where I can kill two birds with one stone – run, and drop off Christmas presents for the in-laws (maybe even get fed with mother-in-law’s amazing moussaka after the run).  Sunday 15th December will see me huffing and puffing my way along the beach (I’ll need to get some sand running in on a couple of runs) and back along the tarmac, all for a t-shirt and mince pie.  Father-in-law is also running it, but I don’t think we’ll be running together, given he’s an 8 minute miler, and I’m 14 at the moment.

My plan?  Back to Hal Higdon’s 10k plan.  I made it up to 4 miles on the plan earlier in the summer, and I enjoyed the shift in focus on to distance rather than time.  I’ve popped the runs in my diary, having tweaked it around a bit so that I can get parkruns on Saturday in and make it to Slimming World.  I’m starting the plan a little bit before (it’s an 8 week plan, and I’m starting at 9 weeks before), so I plan to break myself in on Week 1 this coming week, and repeat it the week after.

Now, one thing is that fancy dress is optional, tinsel is mandatory.  Any dress-up ideas (which was free or cheap – it is nearly Christmas!) would be most appreciated!

Tub on the Run, disguised as Father Christmas :D

Tub on the Run, disguised as Father Christmas 😀

I won’t wear a beard though.  I wore a beard for the Santa run, and ended up breathing a lot of it in.  I guess that’s why you don’t see too many beardy runners…


Weigh in and on to Week 5

I am beginning to notice a bit of a trend with my weigh ins – I have a really good week (like last week), and then I have a less good week, like today.  I put 1lb on this week.  To be honest, with all the upheaval and the (seemingly temporary) reappearance of that black dog, I haven’t really been too focused on my food.  1lb on isn’t going to “break the bank”, and I’m confident that within a couple of weeks, I’ll be down to my new stone zone (well, it’s not technically brand new, but it’ll be new on this side of summer).

In other news, I disappear off out on my run after work this evening, and “explored” another new route.  It isn’t really new, to be honest, as I used to ride the horse around there (she is stabled there still), but I’ve never run it before.  I am pleased with myself actually, because it isn’t the flattest route in the world:

Exe View Lane

See!  Look how steep that is!  Now, don’t get me wrong, I was hardly Mo Farah in terms of speed.  In fact, I may even have been able to walk faster, but importantly, I kept a semblance of running going.  That is now Week 5, Run 1 completed and ticked off my list.  Now, I think I may have to juggle the diary a little bit this week, as I would have planned to parkrun on Saturday morning, but that isn’t possible this week.  Instead, I think I may run on Sunday morning in Cyprus.  Who knows.

On a slight tangent, I was sat in one of our director’s offices this afternoon, and I was looking around his office, I spied a quote on one of his whiteboards that really struck a chord with me, and I shall leave you on that thought:

Don’t be surprised at the results you didn’t get for the work you didn’t do


To continue with the gym or not… that is today’s question

I, for one, am looking forward to a return to normality.  These last two weeks have been quite busy with one thing and another, and I am looking forward to being able to establish a better routine. 

At my Slimming World group this week, I weighed in and miraculously recorded a “no change”.  Ok, the scales may not have shown a change, but I felt blobby and bloated.  I deserved a large gain, and I feel a bit guilty for somehow “cheating” the system.  Our consultant then said that she was going to run a food diary challenge, and that if we would like to complete a food diary to share around with the group, that might be a good way to see what success looks like and get some ideas for different foods.  I immediately looked to H and said the challenge was on!  Wednesday, I managed not to have any syns and yesterday wasn’t much better, with a token Hob Nob just to make sure I registered something.  I have tried couscous pancakes though, and I’m quite impressed by them (they sound wrong, but they’re like little Scotch pancakes).  You’re meant to have between 5 and 15 syns a day, and not having them isn’t ideal.  Must try harder!

Today isn’t looking too bad.  I’m out for tea tonight, and having looked at the menu, there are a couple of salads that I think could fit the bill.  The alternative is pizza, and I’m not feeling pizza right now.

parkrun logo

Tomorrow I am parkrunning.  I have been told I am.  My new Garmin hasn’t seen the light of day yet, so it will make its debut tomorrow.  I realised I haven’t actually been running for a long time (maybe two months), and I need to make an assessment of where I currently am in my running fitness levels.  I have a couple of exciting things coming up in terms of running, and I need to make sure that I can pick up at least some of Couch to 5k soon.  I’m going to pick a run from Week 4 and run it tomorrow.  If I feel ok, then I will plan to progress my next run to Week 5 and assess again. 

I am currently debating whether to cancel my gym membership.  I admit that I haven’t exactly been a regular gym bunny of late, and I don’t really see that changing much.  I’ve fallen completely out of love with the gym itself – I’d rather run outside, do weights or mat work at home.  For classes, I haven’t been spinning in ages and I can’t motivate myself to get back into it.  Honestly?  I don’t care much for the new spin studio.  Our old one used to have windows and a view (admittedly, of a car park, but it was enough to act as a distraction).  The new one is a disused squash court – no windows, no natural ventilation and wet walls from the condensation.  Is that me making an excuse?  Yes it is.  But I don’t feel inspired to go there at the moment.  Plus, it’s a real sweat box in the summer.  Zumba?  Well, I haven’t been for months and months.  The only class I can get to is on a Monday, and it works out more economically viable to pay for the classes individually if I’m only going once a week.  I need to do at least 7 classes a month to make the membership worthwhile.  Some time ago, Mum and I were having a chat about things and she said that I’m very much an “all or nothing” kind of person – I’m either going to the gym all the time, or not at all.  My food is either 100% on plan, or dire.  She’s right (as my mum usually is), and I don’t think that having a running programme plus a huge amount of classes to attend is going to be right – I’ve done it before and I just end up being a little sad that I’m never home.  Then I get bored and despondent and stop all together. Now is the time for some moderation.

I’ve rattled on about the cons of the gym, but what are the pros?  It’s one place that I get to see a couple of friends.  We work hard in the class, but it’s nice to catch up before and natter after.  I should make the effort to see them more outside of the gym though.  It does also mean that I can go to the dreadmill if I really need to, and there is air conditioning.  There is also variety.  If I get bored of, let’s say, Zumba Tone, I can change to Kettlebells with no additional costs.  I could use the pool (for context, the last time I graced the pool was probably when I was about 13 years old).  There is the “what if” factor.  What if I really want to go spinning?  What if I get injured and the only way I can exercise is to swim?  Hmm… I am sure they’d let me rejoin, and I can pay as I go.

Anyway, that’s enough gym talk.  I’m off to mentally prepare myself for parkrun!


Woman of the Year Nominations

Last week, I had a text from my Slimming World consultant, saying that I had been nominated for Woman of the Year.  What is Woman of the Year?  It is about the people who have provided the most inspiration to the group, voted by the members of the group.  I was voted last year, when I had only (relatively recently) joined my current group.  I was unprepared for it last year, and to be fair, I hadn’t really lost that much weight (given I dithered a lot with my weight loss last year).

I was touched to be nominated again this year, and I felt more positive about the whole experience.  I was also a bit more prepared.  The consultant likes you to bring in things to highlight your weight loss.  Frustratingly, despite being nearly 3 stone lighter, there isn’t too much change in terms of dress size (which partly leads me to believe that I may have crept into a size 24, but squeezed myself into a size 22).  Anyway, what is obvious to me, is that you can see my eyes better, I’m not as pudgy faced.  This is the collage that I took with me:

Woman of the Year

I enjoyed the evening, as it is always nice to hear recaps of other peoples’ stories that can get glossed over week on week.  I find my group to be a really friendly, welcoming and inspiring place to be, and there have been some amazing losses (my friend H has lost over 5 stone, and G has lost 4.5 stone).  H was nominated and won, which was really great – she’s a real inspiration to anyone who doesn’t think they can do it.

I weighed in last night and lost 1.5lbs.  I am a little bit out of sync with it, and I thought I’d put weight on.  I really need to have a look in my booklet to see what I actually weigh.

I had planned to get out for a run this week, but it’s a really busy week again (Monday was shopping, Tuesday was Slimming World, tonight I had my eyebrows done and started packing for the weekend, tomorrow I’m in late for work, and Friday we’re off to Silverstone).  Yes, I could get up early, but I am trying to get into a good bedtime routine before I start messing around with my wake up time.  I am definitely benefitting from attempting a proper routine.  Ultimately, I know that I really do have to make the time to go for a run, and I need to remember that it is just half an hour to 40 minutes.  Next week is looking a lot clearer, so I will definitely be able to get out for a few runs.

Organisation wise, I’m doing well.  I made tonight’s tea last night (in part because I forgot I’d defrosted some chicken and we hadn’t planned on chicken last night).  Meals are planned for the rest of the week, and at the moment, I’m not fighting the constant urge to stray and seek high fat/sugar foods (though I have gone off chocolate a bit).  I feel much more rested and comfortable with where I am at the moment (certainly in comparison to the last few weeks).


A happy panda day!

I am a happy panda today.  I have a couple of reasons to be pleased.

I lost 4lbs at my weigh in last night.  I am pleased with that – that’s nearly all of my last two weeks’ worth of gains gone, and I’m coming back down into my next stone zone.  That is definitely a good thing.  I am feeling positive and happy within myself too, and I’m definitely having less mood swings than I was when I was eating anything and everything.  I didn’t stay to group, but I plan to next week.  Sometimes it just takes too long to go through everyone.

I also received my Nakd cereal bars (all 104 of them!).  I can’t recommend them highly enough – the bars were shipped out quickly, arrived by courier, and I got a couple of freebies thrown in (which I have eaten).  In that parcel, I had a couple of new flavours – caffe mocha (delicious) and gingerbread (not yet broken into that box).  I also had the Berry Delight, which was more tangy than I was expecting (this is a good thing for me – I’m all about tang).

I wrote an email to my Foodie Penpal in German.  This is quite the achievement for me, as I haven’t spoken much German since I left Post-16, when I studied German as an A Level.  It’s reminded me that I quite enjoy flexing the grey matter on things like languages, and I may start looking at picking German back up again (there was a time when I used to read Die Welt to get more exposure, but I stopped that with the end of A Levels).

My blood pressure is spot on (106/68 is good apparently), and my resting heart rate is 66 (which, by resting, we mean following the stress of trying to find somewhere to park at the doctors’ this morning).  I wish I’d taken the stats when I first started losing weight to see if there was a comparison.  Not to worry!

So, a good few days down – roll on the weekend!



I’m on a roll!

I am on a roll.  For the first time in a very long time, I actually feel motivated and good to be on plan.  I don’t know exactly which switch was flicked, and there certainly wasn’t an epiphany.  After my weigh in on Tuesday (less said about that, the better my 1lb gain, taking me to 16st 7lbs), I went out for a meal with H and G.  M did the shopping while I was out (his choice – I didn’t force him to stay home!), and from there, things have just slotted into place.

Of course, I’m not professing to have been a complete fat fighting saint, but I am much more on track than I have felt for a long time.  My sneaky peek weigh ins have shown a loss already, and I am really pleased with that.  Now, of course, the general advice is not to look at the scales on a daily basis.  Shock, horror, I have!  I have indeed, and I have been buoyed by the results so far.  I say, if it works for you, do it.  There are weeks where I don’t weigh in daily, and I never “count” my midweek weigh ins – it’s all about the weekly Tuesday “official” one for me.

While I’m riding high on my gut busting wave, what things I am loving this week?

  • Nakd bars.  M picked up a bar a day for me when he went shopping.  Ever since Kit at What a Peach sent me my first Nakd bar in my first Foodie Penpals parcel, I have been a complete convert.  Don’t get me wrong, they’re not the most Slimming World friendly (syns are below), but they’re definitely better than the alternative (the chocolate bar).  A good review of a few bars is available on Caroline Makes.  I have actually ordered four boxes of these bars, as there’s a 4 for the price of 3 deal on at the moment (which makes them roughly 46p).


Bar (30g or 35g) Syns on Extra Easy
Apple Pie 5
Banana Bread Cereal Bar 4.5
Berry Cheeky 5
Berry Delight 6.5
Caffe Mocha 6.5
Cashew Cookie 7
Cocoa Delight 7
Cocoa Mint 6.5
Cocoa Orange 7.5
Ginger Bread 8
Pecan Pie 8
Rhubarb and Custard 6.5
  • Lasagne.  Yeah, my life wouldn’t be complete without a slice of lasagne.  This week, M and I adapted our usual lasagne recipe, forgot the carrot (by accident, not design), and added in some Worcestershire sauce and balsamic vinegar.  For some reason it came out really juicy, to the point of having to drain off some of the excess.  Did we throw all of those lovely flavours away?  Did we heck!  Having suitable strained it, I popped it in the fridge and used it to soak our couscous meal in.
  • Couscous.  I love couscous.  Sadly, M shares the same opinion as a work colleague (couscous is apparently for hemp wearing hippies…  Yep, I’m a hemp wearing hippy apparently.  I disguise it well).  However, he will eat it, begrudgingly and on occasion.  Recipe was basically couscous soaked in the leftover lasagne juices with courgette, red onion, red and yellow peppers which were roasted (Tesco do a good veg pack for about £1.50).  To finish, I crumbled my Healthy Extra “A” of feta into the mix, et voila!


  • The photos from Orange Cat Photography (see here for one of the photos, or visit her website).  I am not where I want to be in terms of weight loss, but I have taken real satisfaction from seeing some of these photos.

We made enough couscous for lunch yesterday.  We were marshalling at Castle Combe, the first time we’ve been marshalling for months.  Our motorsport calendar has never been so quiet!  Normally, I find sticking to plan and marshalling to be a relatively difficult task (marshals are notorious for their love of pastry based products, biscuits, chocolate and burgers), and it is often made worse by camping.  However, we stayed at a local Travelodge (for £20, you can’t go too wrong!) and that made the food aspect a little easier.  I was pretty hungry by the time I got home at 8:30pm, but I ticked off another day on plan.

I came home to look after Beany (Floss, my parents’ dog).  She’s getting a bit old now and likes the company.  Dad was out with his band, so Bean and I had a nice evening watching Spartacus.  M stayed with his family for the evening, as he is in Northamptonshire on Monday, so it didn’t make sense to pile a load more miles on the car.

For tea tonight?  I’m cooking gammon and roasties for Dad.  Another on plan meal ticked off.

Leave a comment

A hot weather whinge

One of the things I hate most about being fat, is this weather.  Gorgeous as it is (and I certainly wouldn’t send the sunshine away), the accompanying heat is not very welcome.  I’d like it if we could turn the thermostat down about 5 degrees.  Why?  I am fed up of being sticky and uncomfortable.  I don’t like having to worry about whether my top has got caught under a fat roll and is now sodden with sweat, or how shiny my face has become because I am overheating, or if I shake hands with someone, will I stick to them?  I appreciate some of these issues won’t go away by being thinner, but I am hoping to be a little more comfortable in my own skin.  The Met Office has forecast that this spell will last until mid-August, and I guess I should make the most of it.

I didn’t parkrun on Saturday because it was already so warm by the time we got up at 7:30am.  That was a little silly on my part really, as I have realised that I won’t be back running at parkrun for quite some time.  Over the coming weeks, I am in Cambridgeshire, then have a hen party, then should be marshalling at Castle Combe (though if it is still as hot, I think I’ll be declining), followed by marshalling at parkrun, but I can run it the week after!

Weigh in wise, I lose 1lb this week, which is perfectly ok with me.  Our group discussion was full of people going on about how saintly they are in getting all their fruit and salads in (though interesting to note, we didn’t have a Slimmer of the Week).  Honestly?  I go off the boil on fruit and yogurt.  I just don’t want either.  Damn it, I want ice cream.  Ben and Jerry’s Peanut Butter Me Up or Oh My Apply Pie if I have the option to choose.  I have to admit that I kind of zoned out mid-discussion.  We did, however, get fed.  I love going to a fat club and getting fed.  It was a “bring your own Slimming World friendly quiche”.  I didn’t take any, as the last time I did, no one ate it (and for good reason – it was foul).  I now leave it to the more experienced cooks.  When Slimming World asks me to bring in a triple chocolate brownie, I shall oblige, because I rock at baking those.

I’ve got to go to the dreaded Thursday group to weigh in next week, I have to grace the North with my presence for work and won’t be back in time.  I don’t really click with the Thursday group, so I won’t be staying.  Weigh and go for me!  Annoyingly, because we’re away at the weekend and then I’m off for work and staying in a hotel on Monday night, I don’t think my food choices will be amazing.  However, I will make myself think twice before ordering the cheese laden dish with sweet potato fries, followed by pudding (usually some sort of apple tart), washed down with a couple of glasses of rose or a vodka mix.


My line in the sand

This week is flying by!  I had a reasonable weigh in – it was a line in the sand for me.  I weighed in at 16st 3lbs.  It was a 3lb gain.

Today, I weigh exactly the same as I did in the summer of 2008.  A real turning point for me was my little sister’s 21st birthday party.

tubontherun.wordpress.com 2008 16.3

I don’t remember now what exactly made me feel that I had to change, but there had been a few photos that I really began to notice how much weight I’d piled on.  The top that I was wearing in the picture didn’t fit nicely when it once had, but I couldn’t face going to buy a new top.  I probably knew I wouldn’t be able to find many nice clothes in a size it fit me.

It was at a time when I wasn’t too happy either.  I’d split up from my first proper boyfriend the year before, and had piled the weight on throughout 2007 – comfort food fed the emotion and did its best to mask how empty, worthless and lonely I felt.  I was living up north, with hardly any friends (most of my uni friends moved back home or went travelling), and I had cripplingly poor, exceptionally low self esteem.  I did have a job I loved though.  So, in June 2008, I vowed to make a concerted effort to blitz the blub.

The thought of going to a weight loss group did not inspire me (though ironically, it probably would have done me the world of good).  Instead, I researched Tesco Diets – their GI plan specifically.  I loved it – the food was great, I felt like I was always eating, I didn’t have the spikes and troughs in my energy levels, and my mood improved a lot.  The pounds also started to melt away.  To start off with, it was really easy.  I lived on my own, Tesco Diets provided a shopping list, I had no social life so I could spend my evenings cooking a huge variety of food.  When the company I worked for sadly went into administration, my job sank with it and I made the move back to my home – Devon.  Back in with my parents I moved, and within the month I had a new job to go to.  I got more active and started horse riding again.  I kept up with the diet and hit Christmas 2008 at 13 stone dead.  I’d lost 3 stone 3lbs.  I really began to feel attractive again.

Bruges 13 stone

I hated my job, but everything else was going really well.  I was enjoying being back home – somewhere where I was loved.  However, over the next 4 years, I added over a stone on to each year.  In those years, M and I got together (and I was welcomed into an additional family of perpetual fat fighters), I changed my role, I hit rock bottom in my job and mental state, I moved out of my parent’s house into our first flat (which was, and still is horrid), I lost my confidence with horse riding following a couple of bad incidents, and all manner of other things changed and I reverted back to being a binging comfort eater.

Two weeks before M proposed in March last year, I joined Slimming World.  I joined at 19st 1.5lbs.  My size 22 trousers were getting too tight, and I didn’t feel right in my own skin.  I felt and looked hideous, and my weight had started to affect all that I tried to do.  When my weight blinked on the screen,  I could have fallen off the scales (but for the fear of damaging myself and/or someone or something else).  My journey with Slimming World started off ok.  Then spent the next 9 months bimbling around and not really losing the weight.  I started 2013 on a high, with 10 consecutive weeks of losses.  Then I started bimbling again.

This is my line in the sand.  I can do the next three stone.  I did it before, and I can do it again.

From fatter to thinner

I’m in a much better place than I was then, so… Where did I put my running plan and food diary?!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin