Tub on the Run

Saying Sorry


3 Comments

Saying sorry and moving on

Dear me,

I owe you an apology.  Well, two really.  The first will be for the cliché that follows.  The second is for taking you for granted.

You’re not ill.  Well, at least I’m pretty sure you’re not, but I know you’re not right either.  You’re not right because I had stopped caring.  I made you sit on the sofa while I wallowed.  I parked us at the desk for the whole day and avoided walking anywhere because, well, I’ve caught sight of us in the mirror.  I’ve stuffed you full of junk food for a silly amount of time, knowing full well that it isn’t helping.

Every time I have caught sight of you in the mirror, I’ve mentally beat you up.  Your eyes seem to have disappeared into your now pudgy cheeks.  Your side profile is wide.  Your skin has broken out badly.  I’ve called you the traitor, but really, I think it is me.  You’ve made the best of what I’ve given you – processed junk with little nutritional value, and kept you indoors, out from the fresh air, and away from other people.  The paranoia that has come with all of this means that I constantly think people judge you.  Hell, I have judged you.  I haven’t valued you.

But I wanted to let you know that things are changing.  Friday just gone, instead of making a song and dance about new leaves and all that jazz, I decided to stop.  We’re going back to more whole foods and homecooked meals and turning away from the junk.  Saturday morning, I stepped on the scales and saw the highest number I’ve ever seen.  Later that day, I bought the biggest size jeans I’ve ever bought.  But I’ve decided to stop beating you up.

You’re better than that.

You always make the best of a bad situation.  And we will have bad situations ahead.  Giving up the junk food is going to be hard, especially after the free rein we’ve had.  Exercise is going to be hard, but we’ll remember that there was a time when we enjoyed it, and that will come again.  You’re going to change, and not all of it will be for the better – I worry especially about the amount of loose skin, but we can deal with that.

There will be plateaus, life, stress, celebrations and excuses, but we’re aiming for consistency and progress, not perfection.  This time, we’re not rushing it – I’m not going to shake up the food and demand 5 days a week of exercise.  I can’t sustain us like that – it just gets too much.  And you’re still struggling to get over the sprained ankle from March.

I’ve also decided to try and make this a bit more fun.  If there is something I have realised, it’s that we have missed life.  As our first outing in the hope of being more fun, I signed up us to Run or Dye at Great Fulford.  I’d signed us up for it ages and ages ago, working on the premise that (obviously) we’d be on Week 9 of Couch to 5k again.  Clearly that hasn’t been the case.  I had all but decided to pull out, but I’ve since decided “what the hell” and will be digging out a white t-shirt specially.  Don’t worry, we’re not going to run it – we’re there purely for the colour!  It’s going to make a hell of a #TransformationTuesday photo one day!

So I guess what I’m trying to say, aside from sorry, is that I believe in us.  We are going to make it.

Love, me xx


2 Comments

Gallivanting

I tend not to blog when I have nothing to blog about.  I’d say that was definitely true on the weight loss and exercise fronts, but unusually, life has been a bit on the busy side for me lately so I haven’t found much in the way of spare time.

I said in my last blog post that Matt and I had been given notice to move out of our flat in the summer.  We don’t have a definite date yet, but when we were told that we needed to move, we got straight to it with house hunting.  The paperwork is all done for the mortgage now, and we’ve had an offer accepted on a house.  It’s in mid-Devon, much closer to Killerton parkrun, and super convenient for hopping on the motorway to both sets of parents.  We are just waiting for the full survey next week.  We’re hoping to move by mid-August at the latest.  It’s all very exciting, but quite stressful, and also quite scary to see how much junk we’ve acquired in the 5 years we have lived here.

We’ve had a couple of weekends out and about too.

Two weeks ago, Matt and I joined his mum and step-dad to go to London.  Step-dad was running in the London Marathon, so we had said we would like to go and cheer him on.  We joined him for the expo, and wandered around London for a short while.  We made it back to where we were staying and had a lovely dinner at a local pub.  It was a very early start (for a Sunday morning) on race day.  We caught the train to Blackheath and waved him off about 20 minutes before the start, before heading back towards Greenwich to catch the Tube.  We got off at Canary Wharf, intending to get to somewhere around Mile 11.  As it turned out, we found a great little spot between Mile 17 and 18 on the North Colonnade, so decided to stay there.  Unfortunately, I was on a coffee run when the elites and Paula Radcliffe came past (thankfully, Matt snapped a picture or two!).

London Marathon 2015

Father-in-law came through, looking really good and definitely on for the time he was looking for (he completed the Marathon in 2010, in 4:25:21, and wanted to beat that).  After cheering him on, we made our way over to Hyde Park to the finish line.  The finish line area was definitely interesting – broken, but incredibly proud (and some disappointed) people.  It definitely made me rethink any daft notion I had about entering the ballot!  Unfortunately, father-in-law didn’t beat his time.  I think he was just happy to make it around in the end, as he had started to experience some of the niggles that he had picked up during training.  Nevertheless, we were all very proud of him!

Last weekend was the culmination of a lot of planning between my sister and I.  Mum celebrates a significant birthday this year, and we wanted to do something special for her.  It was top secret and Mum was told to keep the first bank holiday weekend in May free.  Matt and I picked both my mum and sister up on Saturday morning, having put together a packing list and arguing about Matt needing a car for the weekend (it was all in hand, Matt would be keeping the car).  We arrived at Exeter airport, and made our way to check in.  We still hadn’t told her where we were going, but when we got to the check in, she scanned through the flight lists – there were three options – Edinburgh, Dublin or Paris.  Mum and P had gone to Edinburgh on a holiday relatively recently, and she has never expressed a desire to go to Dublin, so she guessed (correctly) that we were heading to Paris.  Her reaction was absolutely priceless!  P and I had worked out the itinerary and transport links, and tried to make it as smooth and worry free as we could for Mum.  We checked in our hotel, which was a fab little apartment in Courbevoie, close to La Defense train station.  Sadly the weather wasn’t really in our favour, and we’d had a delay on the train from the airport, but we’d booked a city tour on Big Bus Tours.  We managed to catch the last bus of the day from the Arc de Triomphe and see most of the major sites in Paris.

Paris

I would definitely do this tour again, and make use of the hop on hop off if we had more time.  It was a really nice way to see the city without any hassle, and with a little bit of commentary.  On Sunday, we had booked to go to the Palace of Versailles.  Wow.  It is absolutely breathtakingly splendid.  The queue to get in was massive, but surprisingly orderly for a European queue.  We queued for about an hour to get in to the Palace (definitely getting there early is the best plan), but it was worth it.  I like a good historical building or place, and have been very lucky to go to a lot of castles and houses in the England and Wales, but Versailles was magnificent and in a league of its own.  It’s another place I would love to go back to, as we didn’t get the chance to get into the gardens or any of the other buildings at all.

Versailles

There was just one sting in the tail of an otherwise brilliant weekend – the travelling home.  We had a very early flight home on the Monday morning, which came back via Manchester.  Despite rising at such an ungodly hour, Mum enjoyed the whole weekend, and I am pretty sure that P and I would do it all over again just to see her reaction!

20150504_075127

This weekend was my friend Helen’s hen party.  Her bridesmaids had organised a weekend away in a Georgian mansion in Rockbeare.  It was a perfect setting for a relaxing weekend away in a beautiful house, with probably one of the best bathrooms I have ever seen.

Westcott House

There were rounders, drinking games, vast amounts of food, lots of laughs and a murder mystery.  It was a really lovely weekend, and great to get to know some people before the wedding in a couple of weeks.

We have nothing planned for next weekend, which I am quite glad about!  The washing is piling up, and the house won’t pack itself!

 


5 Comments

More hobbling and bring plans forward

Monday was a good day for my #MarchForMarch.  I toddled off for a lunchtime walk, and actually walked faster than I thought.  It was a gorgeous day, and it would have been a shame not to get out into the sunshine for a few minutes.

March For March Day 9

Tuesday started off pretty well too.  I didn’t get the chance to go out at lunch, but I did get a couple of walks around the factory running some errands.  In my last walk around, I managed to roll my ankle in a tiny (and I do mean tiny) gap between a drain cover and the concrete floor.  In slow-mo, I felt my ankle roll, my bulk come crashing down, landing on my opposite elbow, and taking a deep breath in and feeling the bruise on my pride start to swell.

Anyway, the floor won.  I am rather renowned for being accident prone at work, and I was long overdue a tumble.  My ankle swelled up quite quickly, and hurt like a [insert various swear words].

On Wednesday morning, it felt worse, so Matt made me go to A&E.  One x-ray and 45 minutes later, it turns out it is just a nasty sprain.  Usual RICE advice given.  The swelling is now beginning to go down, but this whole event has made me realise how much I sit on my feet or cross my legs, and how annoying it is that I cannot sit like I usually do.

IMG_20150313_225823

Needless to say, that has kind of limited my walking for March for March, though I am still trying to get a few steps in each day to stop my ankle from stiffening up.  What I am trying to say is, I’m down, but not out!

Matt and I have also had some news.  It’s a bit good and a bit bad.  We live in a rather odd set up, above some offices in a flat with no real front door (we have to come in through the offices).  We’d always assumed that the main business of the offices owned the building, but it seems the building is leased, and the lease is up this summer.  Bad news for us is that the premises they’re moving to doesn’t have a flat above, so we’ve been given notice and will need to find a new place to live during the summer.  The good news is that we had been planning to buy a house this year, around November time anyway.  We’ve been saving for the deposit for our own house since we paid off the wedding, but it hadn’t had too much of a focus until January.  So while it is bad news that we have to move out, and a little quicker than we had intended to, it has been the kick up the bum we’ve needed to really get stuff in order and on the move.

Right now, I feel massively overwhelmed by the task of buying a house, and it is pushing me out of my comfort zone.  In addition to that, we’re having to look at properties outside of our home town (which we have both lived in for over 20 years).  We’ll be looking to move a little further up the road where it is a little more “first time buyer friendly”.

Oh blimey… it seems I have now hit adulthood!


5 Comments

Hobbling, Hill Walking and Here is Spring

Week 1 of March for March is complete!  It’s been a good week too.  I went for a walk every day except for Friday, and made up for that with two walks on Saturday.  I’m mostly logging via Instagram, but you can join in on Facebook too if that’s more your thing.

Day 1 was a quick out and back with Matt.  We’d had a reasonably busy day around the house (finally caught up with the laundry!), so it was nice to get out into the fresh air for a short walk.  I also decided to take some long overdue front and side shots.  One thing that I regularly see around social media is that progress shouldn’t be judged by the scales along, and progress photos can be more helpful.

IMG_20150301_184041

Day 2 saw me go for my (possibly first ever) lunchtime walk.  It will certainly be my first ever lunchtime walk at my current workplace.  I’ve been there for over 5 and a half years, so that isn’t very good!  I used to walk on my lunchtimes at my previous workplace, but then it was an agriculture college and there were plenty of beautiful grounds to walk in.

IMG_20150302_135627

Day 3 was an evening walk.  It almost didn’t happen at all, as the pavement literally outside our front door was being taken up and replaced.  Thankfully, Matt and I made it out and back in without incident.  Our walk took us around the marina.  The last time I wandered that way in the evening was around Christmas.  The Christmas lights definitely made it nicer.

IMG_20150303_202524

Day 4 saw me running around my workplace.  I have to admit, it was really nice to get out of the office.  At the end of the day, we both had a short evening walk, complete with a new pavement outside our door.  I have definitely come to realise that I am incredibly inactive as a general rule, which is slightly terrifying given that it seems that sitting for too long is bad for you.

IMG_20150304_192456

By Day 5, my calf had become quite sore (near my Achilles tendon), and so I hobbled around work, but decided against a proper walk outside.  I still managed to get a good amount of steps in despite not getting outside (the benefits of working in a big factory I guess).

IMG_20150305_222255

Day 6 proved to be a bit of a hobbly mess.  I had problems with putting my foot flat on the floor without pain.  I have a feeling it was the shoes I had been walking in that caused the pain, as they’re not really walking trainers, and while they’re comfortable, they really should be confined to meanders around town.

I made up for Friday’s lack of walking with two walks on Saturday.  It was such a lovely day that we decided to head off to Lyme Regis with our cameras, and stopped off at Colyton on the way back.

We parked at the top of town.  If you’ve never been to Lyme Regis, when I say “at the top of town”, I do mean “top”, vertically so.  It’s a beautiful town just over the border into Dorset.  I haven’t been there for years and years, and I had definitely forgotten how steep the hills were.  The hills, of course, were fine on the way down!  No problem at all.  There were some great little photo opportunities on the way down too.

Lyme Regis | #MarchForMarch

When we reached the bottom, we walked around the Cobb.  Thankfully it wasn’t too windy – while I have no doubt that the Cobb in a storm would be spectacular, it would be incredibly treacherous (it was slippery enough yesterday!).

Views from the Cobb | #MarchForMarch

We walked back along the beach and up to the town, negotiating the hills (first gear hills!) before huffing and puffing back to the car.  The water we had in the car had never been so welcome!

Lyme Regis | #MarchForMarch

Once we’d caught our breath, we made our way back towards home.  Matt wanted to show me Colyton on the way.  While we’d gone to primary school together, I went to our local comprehensive for secondary, but Matt had sat the 11 Plus and made it in to Colyton Grammar.  I had to get my head around how far from our home town it was (I walked for 30 minutes to get to school, Matt’s bus took him an hour!).  However, in terms of scenery, his school definitely topped mine!  It’s a gorgeous little village.  The added bonus?  It seems that spring is finally here!

Colyton | #MarchForMarch

By the time we had started to head back towards the car, my calf had tightened up significantly and I was back hobbling again.  Hot water bottle and painkillers it is for me!

Have you walked anywhere nice recently?


2 Comments

Joining in on #MarchForMarch

I’ve recently started watching YouTube vlogs.  I think I stumbled across Blue Eyed Betty (aka Lose It Like Lauren) via Laura at Laura:Fat 2 Fit.  She has documented her absolutely amazing weight loss and subsequent surgery on her YouTube, and she’s fab!  I find her a real inspiration, and was chuffed when she vlogged that she was starting a challenge for March (yes – #MarchForMarch).

It’s beautifully simple (and actually, I don’t know why I didn’t think to do this for #Janathon).  It’s just about getting out and walking every single day.

I work in an office, and have a very sedentary lifestyle.  I am horrendous at getting off my bum and going for a walk, yet when I feel a bit down or stressed, it is one of the best things I can do for myself.  I always get the Sunday Blues, but going for a walk, even a short one, helps ease it off.

This challenge has come at the right time for me.  I’m out of my Whole 30, past the strange month of January, but I’m feeling a little lost and unsure where to restart.  A daily walk will hopefully just ease me back into exercising.

Yesterday I pootled out for a 20 minute walk on my lunch break, and today I will be going for a wander when I get home.

I’m playing along via Instagram, and there is a Facebook group you can join too.

Are you focusing on anything for March?

finished-the-w30-IG


9 Comments

Summing up my #Whole30 Round 2

I’m now two weeks out of my second Whole 30.

Thirty days of no sugar, no dairy, no legumes.  I’d completed one round in July last year, and had some really good results.  I was expecting something similar this time round.  It didn’t quite pan out like that though.

In terms of cravings and how I feel in myself, the cravings were really knocked on the head.  Possibly the only thing that I truly missed was a cup of tea, and I’ve since made the decision to reintroduce that into my diet.  Life without tea is not a life I want to live!  Not permanently anyway.

I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t perk up as much as I had during the July 2014 round of Whole 30.  I think it might be partly due to the time of year (roll on lighter evenings!), and also that because our diet was so poor in the run up to the start of this Whole 30, my body took longer to catch on.  Now that I’m a couple of weeks out from finishing, and my eating habits have slipped in the last 3 days, in retrospect, I perked up more than I felt I did at the time.  Right now, I’m moody, lethargic, sleeping poorly, my skin is breaking out, and I’m battling my sweet tooth again.  This is after just three days of poor eating!

Properly mid-grump

Properly mid-grump

I tracked my intake with My Fitness Pal during this round, which I didn’t do in July.  I noticed that every now and then when I thought I needed something sweet in the evening, it tended to be when I had a low calorie day.  I was also able to start identifying what causes bingeing behaviours (le sigh Nakd bars!), and I am more aware of what I need to be mindful of.

IMG_20150131_122439

We also gained much more control out of our food budget.  I am quite embarrassed to admit how much we had been spending on food, takeaway and sweets before the New Year, and one of the driving factors in doing another Whole 30 was to bring some control back to the budget.  This has been completely successful.  While the Whole 30 isn’t the cheapest way of eating, it is much cheaper than what we had been doing.

In terms of the stats, I lost 12lbs (compared with 16lbs in July 2014).  I haven’t taken my inches measurements since finishing.  Matt lost around the same as me, which he is very pleased with.  I’m pleased, especially as I think I had more than my fair share of fruit juice.  It wasn’t wholly about the weight loss, but having seen such high numbers at the start, it is a relief to be on my way back down.

I know a lot of this has been non-scale victories anyway, but probably the one I am most pleased about is walking.  Specifically, being able to walk.  Just before my sister left to go home after Christmas, we went out for a walk along the beach with my mum.  The intention had been to start a Couch to 5k type walking plan (so quicker walking bits rather than running).  I felt low about it anyway, as I was incredibly conscious of how big I had become, but the actual event was worse than I imagined.  We only managed a short distance before I had to stop.  The pain in my back and hips was excruciating.  Mentally, I was already calling Matt to come and pick me up.  I felt so embarrassed – we have walked for miles and miles in times gone by, down the beach, Exmoor, Dartmoor.  There I was, internally melting down because of what I had been doing to myself.  I cried when I got home.

Janathon Day 2

Fast forward 3 weeks and Mum and I were heading out to go shopping.  She’d parked the car about 10 minutes’ walk away, up a hill.  I was told off for marching ahead so quickly.  Matt and I have been out for walks since the end of our Whole 30 too, and it hasn’t been a struggle at all.

Walks

We’re now about two weeks out from finishing the Whole 30, and life has carried on reasonably well.  The first week and a half or so, we kept eating the same as we had been but reintroduced tea and porridge (for me) and cereal (for Matt).  This week hasn’t been as good, and we’ve slipped into old ways a little, which isn’t great.  That said, this evening, I’ve made my own mayo, cooked up a breakfast quiche type thing, and sorted out a proper lunch for tomorrow, so we’re getting straight back to it.  We’ve realised that just 3 days of eating badly is really beginning to take its toll (bad tummies, moodiness, cravings, energy slumps, poor sleep, not to mention financially).

How was January for you?  Well done to the Janathoners and Jantastic people!


12 Comments

Happy birthday Tub!

Roll out the Whole 30 approved cake – Tub on the Run is two years old today!

 

Last year, I found it interesting (and amusing) to see what came up in my stats, and this year hasn’t disappointed either!  My top post was My Whole 30 Results.  And some of my favourite search terms of the last year have been:

  1. shaved on hen night
    • How on earth did you end up here?!  This was definitely not something that happened on my hen do.
  2. side effects of murray mints
    • Deliciousness and nostalgia.  Those are the side effects.
  3. does slimming world consider clothing weight at weigh in
    • No, but I think it is frowned upon to weigh in naked.  However, I always found it helpful to weigh in at the same time each week – that would give me a good idea of where I was.
  4. slimming world does spinach give air
    • Air?
  5. putting weight on in between slimming world weigh ins
    • Please, please, PLEASE step away from the scale mid-week.  You can’t tell diddly-squat weighing in daily.

Whole 30 Collage

Back at the ranch, my Janathon has slipped a bit. I have been trying to do a little something every day, but I keep forgetting to tweet or blog about it.  I’ll keep on going, as it is nice to get the bones moving after a day stuck at my desk.

My Whole 30 is going pretty well.  I’m not craving anything which is good, but I am suffering from breakouts which is very irritating, and my energy levels haven’t really picked up much yet.  Having said that, I am more even tempered and I think my clothes are a little bit looser.  My sleep hasn’t changed much as I’m usually a pretty good sleeper.

One thing I have found, Nakd bars can trigger a binge behaviour.  This makes me a bit sad really, as they’re good to have as a snack.

How is your Janathon and/or Jantastic going?

 

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 670 other followers